Apr 29 2011

Action before Reaction


Action before reaction

By Janice Seagraves

Have you ever written anything like this?

Example: Megan screamed as a big, ugly boar stuck its head in the tent opening.

Did you see what’s wrong here?

Megan reacts by screaming, before the boar’s head is in the tent.

Always remember action before reaction.

Correct: A big, ugly boar stuck its head through the tent opening. Megan screamed.

Always put the action first.

Whether you follow up with action, emotion or internal thought, the action (boar) that provoked the reaction (scream) has to come first.

Here’s the finished product from Windswept Shores:

Just as the sky started to lighten, Megan woke to a grunt and a rustling noise just outside her tent.
“Who’s there?” She quickly unzipped her tent. A big, ugly boar stuck its head through the opening. Megan screamed.
“Huh?” grunted the scarred boar. It tried to hook her with its tusk.
“Get out! Get out!” Megan shrieked, scrambling back to reach under her pillow. She heard something ripping as she jerked her head back to the tent opening.
The pig had gotten a tusk stuck in the tent’s door flap. It whipped its head back and forth, trying to get loose.
~*~

Windswept Shores, now available  from Pink petal books.

Windswept Shores by Janice Seagraves
Cover Contest Winner
erotic contemporary romance
novel (approx 50K)
price $4.95
Cover Art by Pink Petal Books with assistance from Winterheart Design

BLURB:
The sole survivor of a plane crash, Megan is alone on a deserted island in the Bahamas until she finds a nearly-drowned man washed up on shore. Another survivor, this time from a boat wreck. With only meager survival skills between them, will they survive and can they find love?

Now also available at Smashwords, Diesel, All Romance and for the kindle at Amazon.